This is a sort of random post and it's not one of the assigned ways we are supposed to post but I think it is related and funny...
In her book, Jensen discussed two different confirmation celebrations that she attended. The parties were held by people of a different class, which made for two very different experiences. As I read about this, I was laughing out loud because this Christmas I experienced something extremely similar.
This Christmas, I attended five different Christmas parties and I have no idea how I got suckered into going to every one. However, there were three in particular that really stood out to me as a lower/working class celebration, middle class celebration, and upper class celebration. And they were SO different...
The Lower Class Celebration: My lovely little family on Christmas
I have a relatively small immediate family that I celebrate Christmas with every year on Christmas morning (like most people). My partner (Erica) and I drive to my mom and her fiance's (Arthur) house where we eat monkey bread, watch Elf (yes, we watch Elf EVERY year, it just never gets old), and we all exchange and open presents with my other three siblings. When we walk into my mom's house around 10:00am, my brother is in sweatpants, my mom is still in her pajamas, and the TV is usually on. I'm not fond of hugging, so my siblings purposefully attack me for a "group hug" and scream "Merry Christmas!" Everyone is wearing slippers and it's an extremely laid back experience. Once the presents are opened around noon, my family gathers to eat around one. By now, some have changed out of their PJ's and some have decided to go the whole day in comfortable attire. We eat turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, rolls, green bean casserole, and macaroni and cheese. Then some of us go to sleep, while others sit on the couch and relax. By the end of the meal, there are usually a couple people out of our group who are a least a little tipsy on cheap wine or beer. Our conversations range from school and friends to sex and drugs. Conversations often get hilariously way too personal and out of control. Sometimes we play a game like Cards Against Humanity (if you have not played this game, you are severely, severely, deprived my friend). Eventually, we all eat dessert, curse ourselves for eating way more than our bodies can handle, and go home.
The Middle Class Celebration: Erica's family
Erica's immediate family is extremely lower class but her aunts and uncles are middle class. And they live in NICE houses. Every year we pull up to the house and there are at least fifteen people already there. There are nice plates (especially designated for Christmas celebrations), cloth napkins tied in fancy napkin holders (? no clue what they're called), and clean silverware with Christmas designs. Women are wearing heals, nylons, and dresses and the men are wearing khakis, dress shoes, and button ups or sweaters. There are nice decorations around the house and light Christmas music playing in the background. There is typically some type of golf tournament on the television. There are things to eat like cheese and crackers, fruit, shrimp, etc. on one of the tables and the island in the kitchen. The dining room table has all the plates and utensils on it because that is the table where most people will eat. Slightly expensive wine is served with a variety of beers as well as soda and water of course. People help themselves to vodka and orange juice (which I think is called a screwdriver) in skinny glasses with a long stem. When it comes time to eat, first Erica's aunt's famous lasagna is served. She makes vegetarian for us and a couple of Erica's cousins and also regular beef lasagna. Once that is consumed and everyone thinks that they're full, a second round of food comes out- bread, mashed potatoes (with vegetarian and regular gravy), turkey, squash, cranberry sauce, pasta with red sauce, and holy crap every type of food you could possibly imagine all right there on the table. People start to talk about how fat and full they are from eating so much food. As people drink, more and more is revealed about this group. One Christmas, Erica's cousin went around the party showing everyone a picture of... well a penis that was sent to her... on her cell phone. Often times after eating, some one will abruptly stand up and announce to the entire table "okay, I have to poop!". Discussions about sex and men are popular among the women. Erica's mother always says way too much out loud and I end up laughing in embarrassment while others laugh at the mere fact that I'm embarrassed. "Sorry Sye," her mom says about the way too intimate detail she just shared about her sex life with Erica's father, "but it's the truth!" Then the homemade Christmas cookies and pies are unwrapped and everyone eats just a little more. We all drink coffee and tea out of the Kureg machine.To wrap up the night, sometimes we watch funny videos on youtube and sometimes we play the Wii. Eventually, people get in their pajamas to relax while the night is winding down. Big hugs and kisses are given before everyone leaves.
The Upper Class Celebration: Arthur knows some really uppity people
I have not felt uncomfortable at many parties in my life. Well, then again, I don't go to many parties. But wow, when you are put in a room of upper class people knowing nothing about their etiquette or how you are expected to interact- you feel uncomfortable! Arthur suggested that we (Erica, my brother Jeremy, my mom, and I) should all stop in at his friend's Christmas party for a bit. I had never met his friends and I didn't really care what we did so we all agreed. We were wearing jeans, sneakers, button ups, and jackets. Right when we walked up to the house, Erica was laughing and pointing out all of the nice cars parked in the driveway and in the street. "Wow, thank god I didn't drive my piece of shit car- they would probably call the cops before I got to the door" she said. We all laughed and Arthur turned around and said something sarcastically like, "Okay, now that's enough children. Can we at least pretend to be civilized?" When we walked in the house, I felt immediately out of place. Nobody was dressed like we were and everyone was shaking my hand- not like they really cared to know me but rather, like it was an honor for ME to be meeting THEM. They were polite- they offered us crackers and cheese and fancy dips. There were (god I just cannot think of the word for these pre-dinner snacks, I keep wanting to say "appetizers")-- but anyhow, there were "appetizers" in every room of the their huge freeking house and all of the snacks were on fancy dishes that stood tall and had three surfaces to put a different snack on each. These people did not just have SUPER expensive alcohol. Oh not, they had a goddamn bartender. A BARTENDER. Who was wearing a suit and tie and making fancy drinks for everyone at the party. And hitting on Erica which was hysterical to watch (just as a funny side note). She said "Hey, if he makes me good drinks he can hit on me all night."
What I found most peculiar were the conversations these people were having about their lives. They all wore big diamonds and talked about how successful they had been at a recent project they were working on. Or how accomplished their kids were. My brother, Erica, my mom, and I sat in a corner of one of the rooms and ate the snacks. They all were drinking (I probably would be drinking if I did drink). My mom said, "Whew boy, I'm gonna need some alcohol for this one!" (meaning the party). One lady came up to us to talk (and would not stop talking) about her son and her husband and how successful they were and how much they had done. Her son just graduated from God Only Knows What Private College and he was going to work for God Only Knows What Big Business. "Where do you go to school?" she asked me. I remember just looking at Erica, who had an enormous grin on her face. "Um... RIC." Her face fell a little, and then she pretended to be interested, "Ooo, what for?!" I told her history and philosophy. "Wow that's really interesting." And then the question I love-- "What are you going to THAT" (as she laughed a little bit). "I'm going to be an enlightened philosopher and just sit and think my entire life." "You could!" She said. Yes, bitch. If that's what I wanted to do, I goddamn could. My mom just laughed at my joke and took another sip of her drink. There was no way that she was going to share that she went to CCRI in her forties to become a nurse. Which is sad, because that is one of the things I am most proud of my mom for doing- and in the light of this conversation, she seemed embarrassed to even share that. The lovely lady turned to my brother and starting questioning him on his entire education and work experience. I said, "Hey, he has his resume in the car I think if you want him to go grab it." She didn't quite understand the joke. She changed the subject, "So are you all siblings?". My mom chimed in, "oh, no no just these two" pointing to my brother and I. Of course, I had to say the thing that would make EVERYONE feel awkward. "Nope! Erica is actually my girlfriend!" and I put my arm around her. The lady was taken back. She said, "Oh! Okay!" and she laughed. Like what? What's so funny? That basically got her to walk away. Thank God.
There were times where I'd be walking to go to the bathroom or walking to get more water and people at the party would look me up and down. One man literally scowled at me when I politely said, "excuse me" when I was trying to get past him.
We didn't stay for dinner and as we left everyone told us how nice it was to meet us and that they hoped we'd join them again (yeah friggin right).
I didn't expect to write that much, but Jensen's book reminded me a lot of these experiences. And also this class reminds me a lot of how uncomfortable I felt at that upper class party.
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